Unlocked

There are things in this life, in this reality, that few choose to understand. I am going to do my best to describe these events in chronological order, but some of these accounts will be told as I remember them, as they jump back into my memory. -MJP-

4/07/2022

Grandy died on April 9th 2013. The morning of the night she died I had a long talk with her. I was able to say everything I needed to say. I was able to tell her how important she was to me and how much she was loved and respected. We both seemed to know this would be the last time we would talk to each other in the physical world. She was one of the few people in my family who would talk to me about religion, the unknown, physics, space, the after life… and actually listen. She never made me feel crazy. She may have been one of the few people who ever really saw me for what I am. As she lay there on her couch, weak and tired, I asked her a very important question. I said, “Grandy, after you pass, if it’s possible, can you come back somehow and give me a sign? Can you let me know if any of my theories of God and the after life are correct?” She took a moment before answering, then smiled and said, “Michael, I promise you if I can come back and tell you I will. Even if I get in trouble.” I could tell she was getting weaker, she was so tired, but she waited for me. Waited for us to have our last talk. I held her hand, kissed her forehead and for the last time told her how much I loved her and that we’d see each other again one way or another.

That night my mother and uncle were with her when she passed. My mother said that she could tell it was time and told Grandy, “It’s ok mom, you can go.” My mom then recounted how Grandy all of a sudden smiled and stretched out her arms like she was reaching out to someone. She then laid back and was gone. This was interesting because weeks leading up to her passing, Grandy said she knew she was going to die soon because she was starting to have vivid dreams of her late husband. She said she was looking forward to seeing him again.

It didn’t take long after Grandy died for strange things to start happening. My oldest daughter O was 2 years old. She had spent time with Grandy here and there since she was born. Grandy would sit with her in the grass and peel grapes for her to try or feed her a little Oreo cream. Little things that didn’t seem like much at the time, but would come back to validate important events. A month or two before Grandy’s passing, some of my family got together to hang out with her. We were all hanging out with Grandy and introduced her to my youngest daughter E, who was born a few weeks before. O like myself, is a very strong empath. I remember her walking up to Grandy, putting her hand on her leg and asking, “Do you hurt?” Grandy and everyone in the room seemed very surprised by this and looked at me as if I had told O about Grandy having cancer. I had not mentioned anything to O about Grandy being sick, in pain or dying. O just felt it. Grandy smiled and told O, “No honey, I’m ok. I feel fine.” O smiled and hugged Grandy’s leg and said, “It’s ok, you wont hurt anymore.” That event hit me harder months later as my strange experiences started.

Soon after my grandmother died O’s mom and I started witnessing strange events. One night, we were woke up to the sound of O talking to someone in her room. We had the baby monitor on and could here O talking to someone. We walked in and asked, “O, who are you talking to?” O smiled and emphatically said, “Grandy!!!” Her mother and I looked at each other, definitely not expecting that response. I asked, “Where is Grandy now?” O replied, “Up there.” As she pointed to the ceiling. “O, what are you and Grandy talking about?” She paused as if she was listening to someone and then said, “Grapes.” We had never told O that Grandy used to peel and feed her grapes when she was a baby. Her mother and I started to get weirded out by what was happening. We told O to go to sleep and we would see her in the morning. As I was walking out, O said, “Michael.” No one ever called me Micahel. Not their mom, not my family, not my friends. Only one person ever called me Michael on a regular basis…. Grandy.

Another couple of weeks go by and then the next experience happened. O and I were in the living room. I was sitting on the couch and O was playing with her toys and running back and forth. All of a sudden O stops and looks over at the kitchen table. She started smiling. nodding her head and saying “yeah” and “uh huh.” I asked her who she was talking to and she calmly said, “Grandy.” Now at this point I was still a bit skeptical, still thinking that this was coincidental. So I asked O, “Where is Grandy at now?” and O says pointing to the kitchen chair, “There, at the table.” So I stand up and ask, “What does Grandy want?” O looks back to the table like she is listening to someone and then smiles and excitedly said, “To hold hands!” I then started moving towards the table and stretched out my arm towards the chair with my palm facing the floor. I looked at O and said, “Right here?” O was getting more excited and nodded her head yes. At that very moment, the air around my hand felt cooler. I felt the feeling of a hand on top of mine. All at once the hair on my arm shot up and I felt a surge of energy shoot up my arm. It felt almost like liquid electricity and it collected at the base of my brain. It seemed to hover at the base of my brain for a moment. Then all of a sudden it poured down my spine and spread out over my back. For those few seconds I couldn’t move, could barely think. Then I pulled my hand back. I moved back to the couch in a bit of shock, and sat down. Then I hear O say, “Ok, I love you too. Ok, I’ll tell him.” O was smiling her big smile the whole time, never scared at all. O turned to me and said, “Grandy says she has to go now and that she loves you.” Then O waved goodbye. I sat on the couch in disbelief about what had just happened. I had never had a paranormal experience before and was always of the, “believe it when I see it mentality.” That was the day I believe I was connected. Grandy not only kept her promise to me… she also unlocked me.

Shortly after that day with O and Grandy, I started to remember things. I remembered reoccurring dreams of a whole different dimension. These memories were so familiar because I had been having dreams of this place since I was a young child. But at some point, I was unable to remember them. Almost like I was blocked. Like I was locked out. But after I was reconnected, it all started to come back. These dreams became so vivid. The dimension in these dreams is so hard to explain in human words. Colors that there are no words for, sounds that can’t be described. Light and dark existing simultaneously. Time itself doesn’t even exist the way we know it. 10 seconds and 10 billion years seem to feel the exact same. Because in infinity, the concept of time doesn’t really matter anymore. In my dreams, I was greeted by these light beings. That’s the best way I can describe them. They seemed like the guides, gate keepers if you will. They were different than the other light beings that existed in this place, almost like an infinite sea of energy beings. The guides acted as a bit of a buffer to “show you around the place” if you will. These beings had no facial features. They were humanoid in shape, but had no actual features. Just this amazing pulsing, fractal like light. At this point I only saw this place and these beings in these reoccurring dreams. All contact was done sub-consciously. The weird thing was that the place never changed. The memories of the dreams I had when I was little, (ages 3-12) looked exactly the same, felt exactly the same as the ones I started having after I was unlocked.

At first these dreams were the main experience based evidence I had of something out of the ordinary happening. During this time, my life was becoming more and more chaotic. My relationship with my daughter’s mother was deterioration more and more each month. When I was younger, around 15 or 16, I started smoking marijuana. I quickly realized that as an empath, weed actually numbed my brain and allowed me a bit of peace from the constant bombardment of other people’s emotions, feelings, energies, etc. At that time, it helped ease my anxiety. So again, during this chaotic time in the relationship, I started smoking more to try and numb all the negative feelings. But at one point, for the first time in my life, the toxicity of the relationship caused me to contemplate suicide. One night I drove to a bridge and stood overlooking the water below. I contemplated jumping. I finally understood the minds of the people who go through with it. How easy it becomes to rationalize being gone and how it’ll be better for everyone. How they will eventually understand. More importantly, the allure of the ability to finally have everything just go quiet. Luckily for me, the images of my kids kept flashing through my mind. I kept seeing their faces. I stepped back off the bridge and got into my car and drove home. That night I believe my sub-conscious sent out an SOS to the universe. An SOS that the other side heard. Soon after my near suicide, the dreams started becoming more intense and the light beings didn’t only visit in dreams anymore. But I will get into that later. Along with why suicide is against the cosmic rules.

I think this is a good spot to describe some of these dreams so that I can add a bit insight to the bigger picture. In most of my dimensional dreams, Things start by feeling like I’m being sucked out of my organic body and being shot through space. Like I’m being ejected into another world. When I get there, there are always multiple light beings waiting. We travel down a path, almost like a hallway. Imagine a place where it’s light and dark at the same time. Separate, but somehow still together. These beings only speak telepathically. Imagine being able to have multiple conversations at the same time without being overwhelmed or being distracted. All the questions you have answered as you think them up.

Dream 1: The Window

I am being led down a path. Walking with two light beings, we eventually get to a large black wall. The wall itself looks like liquid, black static. There is a window in the center of this wall. I walk up to this window and look through to see one of my memories from when I was maybe 11 or 12? Looking through the window I see the backyard I grew up in. Grandy is sitting on her little stool gardening by the bushes. As I say, “Grandy.” She turns and smiles as me and gives me a little wave. Just like she always used to when I would get home on my bike and park in the garage. Immediately I wanted to jump through that window and go and hug her. I wanted to feel her hug again so badly. My hand touches the wall and as soon as it does, the black liquid static starts creeping up my arm. It feels ice cold. As I look at my hand I notice my fingers starting to disintegrate, almost dissolving into thin air. Then all of a sudden I feel like I am being sucked out of that place and shot back into my body. I wake up in my bed. My eyes are open, I’m looking at the ceiling, but I can’t move my body. I don’t usually have any lingering sleep paralysis after waking from dreams. But after this dream, I couldn’t move for about a minute.

The dreams I have vary in content, but the dimension, the feel of the place, the light beings… always the same.

Dream 2: The Cliff

This is a dream I had where it’s main purpose was to bring clarity and understanding. I’m standing on a cliff overlooking an infinite valley of energy. An uncountable number of souls all existing in this infinite space. Colors that have no human words to describe them, because they just don’t exist in our organic dimension. Same with the sounds and concept of time. Lookin out at everything below me, something started becoming very clear. I realized that not only do you have the option to reconnect with every sentient being you knew on Earth. You can also simultaneously reconnect with every being that you have ever met in every other past life you have lived. And not just from Earth, but from other realities, dimensions, universes, etc. Because there are no physical, organic limitations. As pure energy we are able to organize and interact with our infinite, multiple connections. You don’t just feel human energy and emotions, you feel the emotions of the entire universe.

Another realization I had as soon as you get to this place, which might upset some people is… there is no sentient God as we are taught in our religions on Earth. The thing is, you aren’t upset. You feel these pure, beautiful feelings and you become enlightened. You realize that there just isn’t a need for a God in this place. There is nothing to control, nothing to worship. Human morality and the rules we make up, the definitions of sin, the prideful idea that we were made in the image of God, none of that exists. You are at peace with the reality of God being nothing more than a collection of all experiences that every soul has ever had. A universal consciousness. You understand being humbled by the fact that as humans, we aren’t as special as we like to think. We are equal beings, sharing energy with other equal beings from infinite realities. No one is better than the other. Energy is not labeled and categorized by worth or class or status. Energy just IS. There is a natural balance to the universe. On Earth, nature is the closet thing to a God. It protects and oversees the balance without bias. Nature doesn’t play favorites. It doesn’t require praise or worship. It just deserves our respect.

Even though there may not be the expected version of God, there is a definite balance of “good and evil.” Good and evil are actually human constructs based on human definitions of morality. Outside of the human experience, good and evil are seen as two types of energy, light and dark. All beings are energy based. We try to explain “bad” humans who are sociopaths, serial killers, dark empaths, voids, etc as evil. But some may have not chosen the way they were. They were drawn to the dark path due to the fact that their soul may have not been purified completely at incarnation. The dark felt normal to them. Just like there are different levels of good in people, it is the same for the levels of evil. There needs to be balance in existence. So souls are allowed to choose which side they are drawn to at death. Choose to purify and live in the light, or choose to live as a void. So when you see religion pushing the idea that good is better than evil, or that God rewards good and bad is punished, that is just not the way things are. Good and evil, light and dark…they are both equally necessary. However, that does not mean that on Earth, in this organic dimension, that evil acts should be excused or validated as necessary. Just like a light balanced person may choose to help someone, or they may choose to do nothing. A dark balanced person has that same choice. Consequences in this world are reflections of the choices each individual makes. Humans still have to play by human rules to keep balance in their societies and civilizations.

4/8/2022-

Dream 3: The Barrier

In one of my dream experiences, I remember walking with a light being down a path towards a big, open area. I looked up and saw what can be best described as windows or lenses in a barrier of some kind. It was the separation between the light and dark dimensions. I noticed dark beings looking in at us from the other side. The same way that we could look in on them. I sensed their disgust. One of the other interesting things I observed was that while the light beings had no discernable facial features, the dark beings seemed to have red or yellow/white-ish spots that resembled eyes. There was a connection between the two sides. Again, the necessary balance of things.

It is my understanding that when a person dies their soul is transmitted to the afterlife dimension. The experiences of the person while alive, play into which side is most likely to be chosen. Though this is not a definite result every time. Even if a person did bad things, hurt people, lived selfishly or enjoyed and thrived being a sadistic person, they are still given the chance to recognize the good and the bad things they have done. Human actions on Earth aren’t exactly held against the soul in the afterlife. After all, the whole point of choosing to be human is to experience all aspects of being human. There is an exception though. There are people who may have entered a new body with a partially dark soul. Nature is anomalous. When these souls first arrive to the energy dimension, they are drawn to dark beings. The same way light souls are greeted and drawn to light beings. Remember, the light and dark beings are dimensional guides. Dark souls are repelled by the light. But every souls still has the option to see both sides and make a choice. This is because the universal balance. Could this be the explanation for children who have had good parents, good upbringings, minimal trauma, but who still torture animals, hurt people, have dark tendencies? When all psychological reasoning fails, could it be due to the person being a void? We have ideals and dreams of living in a utopian society, but in realty, utopias are very rare and very hard to achieve. A utopian world would have an unbalanced light and dark ratio. The only way these could exist would be for a utopian world to have its negative version. A completely dystopian world. Which I’m sure exists somewhere in all this infinity.

The body a new soul inhabits at birth becomes a cocoon of sorts. As a person grows, it experiences life. These experiences shape the individuals personality. The soul records every single memory, every dream, every experience. While the organic brain my be susceptible to damage and memory loss, the souls is not. The soul records everything and keeps it safe until it’s time to transmit. At the time of death, the soul transfers all information to the energy dimension. This is how we are able to reconnect to every being we have ever cared about, in every life we have lived. This also explains why some young children may have memories that aren’t theirs from the current life. Why they may recognize people or places from decades before their birth.

Perfection by definition is extremely rare. Nature finds perfection subjective. In religious explanations, most Gods don’t make mistakes and any flaws are attributed to the fallible nature of the human. In contrast, the nature of the universe sees mistakes, flaws, sins etc… as tools of learning and balance. They help humans learn, evolve and adapt. The natural way is not to blame beings for their mistakes and flaws because they are an integral part of the human experience. Because I happened to mention religion again in this section, it is a good spot to state something that I observed. During my experiences in the energy dimension, I found that out of all the human belief systems, Buddhism is the closest to being right about what we should focus on while we are here and what we will experience when we die.

5/4/2022-

******Other people’s dreams to be added******

Besides the dreams and experiences I’ve had, I’ve also had other people that I’ve connected with who have had random dreams or experiences about or because of me. [I am currently collecting accounts and will add them to this section when they are complete.]

Dream #1: Amanda F

These accounts were told to me by Amanda F. I had asked her to recall the dreams she had after meeting and interacting with me. The following accounts are her words as she described the dreams to me.

“There were these light beings. Humanoid in form. Bright and radiant, almost like they have a pulse. They were just standing above me. And I didn’t understand what I was doing there. They communicated with me that I was meant to meet you. That you were meant for things in this world that I wouldn’t understand. But he needs something from you. Whether it’s experience or energy or like whatever signature I give off. He needs that from you to complete or further his journey.  The scene was almost like space. Very dark but with these bright stars or lights. I was almost free floating, but I was anchored to something.  They appeared to me out of pitch black, like a veil parted and they were there.

Dream #2

I was looking at you standing on like a hill or a mountain in the distance. The sky looked kind of stormy but different, weird colors. These two light beings were standing next you on either side of you. They each put a hand on your shoulder and then they started glowing bright, like they were charging up. The whole time you were looking at me with a calm look on your face. Then I just woke up.

Dream #3

I had kind of an out of body experience. I had had a feeling you were going through something bad before I went to bed. In the dream there was like a stream of energy coming out of me and it was floating down, almost like a path. I could see myself sleeping because of it being out of body, but I could see the energy flowing out of me and going somewhere, like following a path. When my astral form followed that path, it led to you. Like into your mind. The energy formed a path from my chest to our mind. It was almost like I felt you struggling that evening. So, it was like you were taking from me or pulling something from me that was needed.

Dream #4

I had a dream that at first, I didn’t know was about you, but then I ended up realizing it was about you. I kept having dreams and I kept having like these flashes or waves of emotions. I’m talking about intense, crashing waves. Like when the wave hits the break at the shore. Hitting me so hard. I was fine that morning, then later that afternoon I was getting hit by these flashes, like a ton of bricks. What made me realize it was about you was the fact that I don’t know anyone in my life who is on this level in terms of emotions and the things you talk about. This was almost like a way for my human brain to have a glimpse of the experiences you talk about. I actually feel like I am heightened when I’m around you, or more connected.

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Experience #1: Elise M (2018 or 2019)

My ex-wife agreed to submit her personal experiences with what she witnessed over the years. Elise was the first person to witness the light/dark beings interacting with me. I have noticed that Elise seems to have a connection to dark beings.  When these experiences happened, I was usually asleep. Whenever I was in this specific dream state, I would not wake up. Elise had said she had slapped me, shook me yelled at me, and I was basically frozen in sleep. My eyes would move rapidly under my lids, breathing would be steady, my fists would sometimes be clenched tight. When I would finally wake up, usually in the morning. I would know something happened. My head always felt the same. My mind was exhausted. Sometimes it felt like my head was heavy. The following is Elise describing her account of the random events she witnessed.

“I can’t remember the dates specifically, but several times, maybe 4-5 times, there would be a dark shadow figure that would appear in the doorway of either the master bedroom or the bathroom in the bedroom. It was the same height as the door frame and had eyes like a moon light shade. Behind it was a black mist in a circular/oval shape. It seemed to come from the mist, like it was a portal. This would usually happen late at night around 2-3am. When I would see it, I couldn’t say or do anything, and I felt an unsettling feeling.

One time, I woke up and felt a presence in the room. Mike was sleeping and I turned over and faced the bathroom. In the doorway I saw a dark figure. It looked like the way Mike described the light beings. But this one was dark, like a shadow. This one had no eyes. I was frozen and scared. But I realized that it wasn’t focused on me. It was completely focused on Mike sleeping. I tried to wake him, but he wouldn’t wake up. I got scared and ran for the door. I checked on the girls and stayed in the living room. 15-20 min later I went back to the room. It was gone and Mike was still asleep. I laid down facing him and soon I felt the presence again. It was standing right behind me. I felt something brush up on my arm and immediately pulled the covers up over me. For 20 minutes I stayed that way and I felt it behind me. Once the feeling was gone, I looked, and it had disappeared. Mike woke up in the morning. He looked at me and the first thing he said was, “What the hell happened last night.”  So, I told him.

Experience #2: 2013

After Mike’s grandmother died, our oldest would talk to the corner ceiling (upper left corner) of the room. She had just turned 2. When we asked who she was talking to, she would say, “Grandy.” One day she called her father, “Michael” and the only person I ever heard call him Michael was his grandmother. Eventually that stopped until 12/2022.

Dec/2022:

I woke up in the middle of the night and walked to the kitchen to get a drink. As I passed the girls room, I had a feeling someone was in there. I knew it was Mike’s grandmother. She seems to have a specific connection to our oldest. It just felt like it was her. I wasn’t worried, so I just got my drink and went back to bed. I told Mike about it the next day.

Experience #3: (2016?)

When I went to get a drink from the kitchen one night, leaving the lights off, I stood at the counter looking out the window. (4^th floor) A figure appeared almost childlike in size, and it looked back at me. Its eyes were bigger than mine and it seemed curious. It tilted its head to the side and put its hand up like it was saying hi. I was startled by this and immediately walked back to the room and went to bed.

Experience #4 (2016?)

I went to work early one morning and started up my computer. The screen kept getting grainy (like when old TVs would lose signal). When it went to a fuzzy screen, a head, neck, and shoulders appeared shaded out. I could see faint reddish eyes.  It was only for a split second and then disappeared.

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Throughout my life I have always been able to feel people. I’ve been able to feel their unique energy and vibrations. As a child I never quite understood why I would feel exhausted, drained, or overwhelmed by large groups of people. I also felt a similar feeling when around those who were mentally or physically unwell. For as long as I can remember, I found myself drawn to the broken. I always felt the need to fix people, to help where I could. But being so young and not having any guidance in terms of understanding what I was, I wasn’t able to put two and two together in terms of my abilities. As I got older, it seems these abilities became more suppressed. It was like I was subconsciously trying to numb them. In 2013 at 30 years old, all that changed. I woke up.

I believe the process of desensitizing populations has been in full swing for decades. For those in control, it is in their best interests to keep society in a constant state of chaos. Humans are a dangerous species when kept in primitive mental capacity. But at the same time, in this state, they are so much easier to control. Fragments of the population are waking up. More and more each decade. I think as a form of self-preservation, our mental evolution is finding opportunities to break through. The real question is, will enough of the population wake up to their abilities and be able to successfully sway the balance back to a sustainable existence? This is different than when we are disconnected from our conscious connections to the energy dimension and beings. It seems that around the time of puberty, most humans start to lose that open connection to the other dimension. Possibly due to the chaotic physical, emotional and chemical changes that happen to us during puberty. Numbing the connection seems to allow us to focus completely on experiencing this life and the development of who we become as individuals.

In my early 20’s I began to have flashes of my ability to use energy transfer. They would come in spontaneous surges mostly during sexual experiences. It seems that I noticed it more during those times because of how mentally and physically open people are during intimate moments and how that vulnerability allows such a strong connection. I began to realize I could feel the channels of energy that flowed through my partner’s body. I could tap into their energy, absorb some and almost combine it with mine. Before I was aware of what I was actually doing, I noticed some partners would feel incredibly drained after. But none of them ever had any negative or damaging effects. Eventually I realized that I was able to redirect my core energy and project it into my partner in order to recharge them. Before I perfected the technique, I would feel overly drained myself and would have to take time to recharge myself after. Eventually I found that absorbing some of my partners energy and mixing it with mine and then projecting it back into them actually created a stronger connection. I believe this may play a part in why some partners began to have intense dreams about me and the reoccurring place/dimension I would visit in my dreams. After the same results started happening, I began to ask my partner what exactly they experienced that was unique with me. They would tell me that they would feel like they would go somewhere else. Almost like an out of body experience. They would feel a subtle draining feeling where they would feel like they were surrendering to the feeling. Then all of a sudden an intense surge of energy and flood of emotions. This would lead to the usual reaction of, “What the hell was that?!?!” or “What did you just do to me?” In the very early stages, before I understood what was happening, I had no answer for them. Because I just didn’t know how to explain it. Now that I’ve got a better grasp on what is happening, the real issue is… When I explain this all to them, will they even believe me?

(Let me add a disclaimer here. I do not condone or advocate abusing mind altering substances is unsafe ways. Always make sure what you are taking is safe and do not use it recklessly. What I am suggesting is to approach this kind of experience in a therapeutic, scientific manner. Safety is #1 priority. I am not responsible for the actions of people who choose to do things of their own free will.)

By my mid 20’s magic mushrooms were the only psychedelic I had ever tried. Before that, I had only smoked marijuana and that was mainly to try to numb the side effects of being a very strong empath. It allowed me to interact with people longer without feeling so drained and exhausted. With mushrooms, I always had very positive experiences. The visuals would be very dream-like and I would feel connected to everything around me. A welcome change from my usual anxiety that I would feel sporadically throughout the week. At 37 I had my first experiences with LSD and MDMA. I had first experienced MDMA with Madhuri. It was an incredible experience. Parts of my brain were unlocked and amplified. I connected with Madhuri on a higher level. Without any effort at all I could feel her energy and they vibrations and bio-rhythms of her body. Doing MDMA with someone I feel such an intense love for was a beautiful experience. I would recommend couples to look into it. It shows you a a lot about yourself and about how you really feel about each other.

On LSD, things reached a whole new level for me. LSD immediately made me feel “normal”. My mind, body and soul unlocked completely. For the first time ever, I was able to partially access the next dimension while in a state of consciousness. I was able to read people’s energy patterns and connect directly to them. I experienced “flash memories” of past lives and even experienced a past life memory of dying. How the sounds started to fade, the calm that sweeps over you. How the vision fades and refocuses to see the coming transition.

2021-

During another experience, Madhuri was standing in front of me. We were just looking at each other and I started to feel like I was drifting. In the blink of an eye I witnessed the following. I went from seeing Madhuri in her cute little outfit, standing in front of me, to seeing her in a past life. She was standing in front of me in the same way, but she was dressed as a village girl. The location seemed to be somewhere in ancient India or the Middle East. It was dusk, there were people walking in the distance and the sound of water near by. I saw all that in the blink of an eye. Time seemed to stop while my eyes were closed during the blink and by the time I opened my eyes again, I was back in my apartment with her standing in front of me.

On the night before Halloween 2021 during the comedown of a trip Madhuri and I were randomly talking about our experience and my cat Jambi who had started to become a little uneasy. I was standing by my front door and all of a sudden I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I looked directly at a black form materialize into thin air. It traveled across the room from my dining room table towards my balcony window. It then disappeared into what looked like a black tear in the air. Inside the tear there was a kind of black static mist. This was not a corner of the eye kind observation. I looked directly at this being, watched it move through the air and disappear into that tear. What made this even more incredible is that while I was reacting to this thing, Madhuri had also noticed the movement as she was sitting on the couch and saw the same thing I saw. A few minutes after this had happened, Jambi was sniffing the air around the area where this thing was and almost seemed to be guarding the area. Jambi is not your typical cat. I strongly believe that Jamb’s soul is different than a normal cat. During our trips, his demeanor changes completely and he becomes almost a protector.

Madhuri and I had an experience with one of her good friends. We had all wanted to trip together and I had been mentioning the energy readings and transfer. I wanted to read her and see what I could see. I did an energy reading on her. Saw the pattern her energy flowed. Saw her core and her colors. Then later the 3 of us sat down on the bed in a triangle. We connected hands and closed our eyes. After a little while, I began to push energy through us. It started cycling from through my arm, to Madhuri’s to her friend’s then back into me. It was flowing through us like a completed circuit. We opened our eyes. I noticed her friend had a surprised look on her face. That night was a very important experience. It showed me a lot more than I expected. Her friend had an interesting energy. I believe that because of how close they are, the connection was even more important. I give people titles based on how they feel and what they bring to the energy table. I am a transmitter/receiver. Her friend is an amplifier. Madhuri is an anchor/tether.

2022

During a singing bowl trip session, I got swept into a memory of what felt like a past life. “I was laying on a dock, looking up at the sky. I had a little dog next to me. I had stood up to pull a bucket from the water and I remember the little dog looking at me like it was time to go. I gathered my things and walked with the dog by my side down the pier and towards town. I was dressed in fisherman’s clothes from the early to mid 1800’s. The location was possibly a Scandinavian or eastern European town.

Sexual experiences are very different during psychedelic experiences. During LSD specifically, I have noticed that there are different types of connections that are possible depending on the person/people you are sharing the experience with. For example, in one specific instance Madhuri and I had a friend over. Our friend had gotten her tabs from a completely different source and they had sat in the freezer for a year. During the trip we noticed that even though Madhuri and I took our usual tabs from our usual source, the trip hit completely differently. Our peak usually comes in easy and smooth. But adding our friend to the mix caused our peaks to all hit fast and hard and lasted much longer. It was interesting that the chemical can be from a different source, made a year apart, and that didn’t matter. It seems that the experience is based more upon the energy and vibrations of the person/people you are with. The chemical unlocks the mind and then the individual synchs up with their surroundings. I hope to see continued research into the positive effects of LSD. The government did an amazing job of stigmatizing LSD as dangerous and scary. They had me fooled for most of my life. But out of all the substances out there, this one has had an unbelievably positive and inspirational effect on me. Alcohol, which is a literal poison, is legal and is one of the most dangerous drugs out there. It destroys lives, relationships, careers, families and so much more. Yet it is legal because of how much money is made off the alcohol industry. Same as the tobacco industry. When used correctly, psychedelics can have a profound effect on the lives of the people who are seeking out ways to reconnect not only to themselves, but to those they care about and the world in general. I suppose it makes sense when you look at the fact that substances that cause chaos and physical harm are 100% legal and marketed to the population. But substances that can bring people together, that can open up a special kind of understanding, those are the substances that the powers that be prefer to keep out of our reach. Because of this, special care must be taken to be sure that what you source is safe. Instead of having regulated, tested, verified sources, people have to either hope for the best, or test their sources independently. With all the synthetic imposters and additives that people use to cut the products to stretch their profit, it is important to do you research and always put safety first. Hopefully soon, enough of the medical community will lobby to have psychedelics incorporated into therapy options for those who could benefit the most from their effects.

2/18/2023-

On Saturday 2/18/23 Madhuri and I had one of the most intense experiences to date. It was our first completely shared experience. At 5pm we took 2 tabs and do some meditation with our singing bowls. Both of us had pretty intense experiences. I went first. With the singing bowl sessions, I usually stretch out on the floor on my back, hands at my side. Madhuri starts to play the first bowl. After a few minutes, I usually start to feel myself slip into a different state of consciousness. Like the subconscious state surfaces and shares space with conscious thought. I start to feel waves of energy sweep over me. All of a sudden, my muscles begin to tighten. My breathing becomes slower. I lose all awareness of being on the floor in my living room. Instead, I feel like I am almost in between worlds. Like the place in between the conscious and subconscious. Still connected to my body, but not inside of it. More like tethered to it. Sometimes I get flashes of a white, or gold light, but with simultaneous darkness. Very similar to the dreams. Then my body will go rigid, my whole body will start to vibrate. I can feel all the muscles in my body seemingly humming at once. I start to sense a feeling of being surrounded. Then I feel a sensation like hands on me. Like I am being held down. Then I feel like little sweeps. Like the way sea birds swoop down to skim fish off the surface of the water. But instead, it feels like hands swooping in and siphoning small amounts of my energy. Depending on the frequency of the bowl, these energy sweeps can feel like sharks in a feeding frenzy, or more timid and appreciative. The pitch, vibration and frequency really seem to make a difference in the mood of the gathering. When I begin to feel to drained, or when the sweeps start to taper off, I break the connection. All of a sudden I gasp and take a deep breath. This is similar to coming up for air after being under water. I open my eyes and I am back. I have video recorded some of these sessions and seeing my body physically react to what I am experiencing is very interesting to watch. I always go into the experience not expecting anything. Just allowing my mind to be open to whatever is meant to happen.

Now back to this shared experience. This was the first time Madhuri had felt the same type of things that I feel during the singing bowls. She felt the siphoning of her energy, the differences in the aggressiveness of the energies. She felt being held down. I had recorded her experience this time. Unfortunately, with our previous experiences, we had forgotten to record them. So from this point on, everything is being documented as much as possible. I expect this to sound crazy to some people, which is why I am trying to compile as much evidence as possible. After the singing bowls, we sat down and talked about what we experienced. We listened to some music, and eventually decided it was time to go back to the room. At around 11pm, Madhuri and I began sharing a very intimate moment. It is ironic that what happened transpired the way it did, because we felt awkward from the start this time, we couldn’t get the speaker connected for out music, felt just a little out of sorts. But then things started to get intense. She was beneath me and as the intensity built up we could feel each other’s energy pulsing. I put my head down near her neck, ear to ear. It was at this moment I felt myself slipping out of organic reality. I closed my eyes and at once, I could feel her body, her energy, her being. Every action, every motion of our bodies was felt with hyper-sensation. I could feel a primal, animalistic emotion take over. Every motion filled me with a sense of power. That power grew stronger and stronger in unison with that primal emotion. Then I felt like I was somewhere else. The darkness of my closed eyes had began to transition into dark and light geometric patterns. Then the scene changed completely. It was like I was on the outside looking in. I knew I was me and what I was seeing in front of me was some version of Madhuri and I. Here’s where things got interesting. What I was observing was switching back and forth between 1st and 3rd person views. It started in 3rd person. I saw 2 serpentine/dragon looking beings. They looked long and slender like the Japanese dragons. One was a pale white, the other was a pale powder blue. They coiled around each other, like a double helix. The white one was dominant, as it grasped and wrapped its body around the blue one. I had an awareness in the back of my mind of what my physical body was doing, but I was experiencing it as the dragon. Every sensation was felt. My physical actions were being carried out and felt in totality by the white dragon. All sensations of Madhuri were felt as I felt the blue dragon. At points in the experience, I found myself slipping into random thoughts of, “Why the hell am I seeing dragons?” But I never cared to actually think harder about the answer. It just seemed necessary to the moment. This all took place in what looked like a Japanese garden, I remember seeing cherry blossoms as we passed by trees. All of a sudden something in my mind began to pull my focus back and out of the dragon scene. Our moment of climax was pulling us into a whole new phase. As our climax began, the dragons began to fade. Then, all I could see was a white, almost iridescent energy light. There were also some gold highlights in it. It was almost like a ball of light that grew bigger and bigger and more intense. I instantly realized I was feeling my energy and Madhuri’s energy simultaneously. Our energy, our souls were merging into one. Our emotions ceased being separate and became unified. Madhuri had started crying while I still had no connection to my physical body. It felt like I was suspended in another dimension completely. At some point I realized she was crying and I snapped back to reality. I asked her if she was ok. She looked at me and said, “I will never doubt anything ever again.” She said that she finally understood everything. We lay there next to each other, trying to wrap our heads around what happened. It was so hard to put into words at that moment in time. We both realized that we shared a near identical experience. She did not see the dragons. But we both shared an identical experience in terms of the white light/energy that consumed us. From that point on, it was the same experience. I truly believe that what we experienced was our individual souls pulling away from our individual bodies, coming together, mixing and fusing as one and then reentering our individual bodies as a mix of both energies. A soul merge. Our simultaneous climax was also something that I had only experienced myself a few times. It was a non-physical climax. It felt the same in terms of the physical feelings, but there was no physical release. It was all mental, all energy. The term that best describes what we experienced in terms of the sexual aspect, is “Soulgasm.” The release from the body was pure energy. It was one of the most powerful feelings I have ever felt. Madhuri said later that I was also crying and that I had tears running down my face, but I have absolutely no recollection of that. I told her I saw the dragons, then they faded away and I was consumed by our energies and emotions fusing together as one and that I did not even become aware of being in the bedroom until I saw her crying. I believe that I was unknowingly crying because we were linked to each others emotions. Which is why she described feeling such an ultimate power out of nowhere while I was in dragon mode.

I had Madhuri type up her version of what happened from her perspective. Here it is below.

The Merging of MP²(by Madhuri)

Saturday, February 18th, 2023.
Mike and Madhuri took 2 tabs of LSD each.
Around 11pm (six hours after ingesting tabs).
We had both just meditated with the Tibetan singing bowls prior to this event.

The entire scene started off unexpectedly, and almost a little awkward. So the events to come were not expected. Mike fumbled while connecting his phone to the bluetooth speaker, and we couldn’t find a song to set the mood. I then asked him to play The Veldt**.He pulled me in closer to him with his arm wrapped under my neck. His head was nestled next to mine and I felt his warm breath on my neck. We began what would become the most beautiful intimate moment of my life.

That was when I recognized that I felt more than just myself. I sensed a warm buzzing emitting from Mike’s head and core. I felt similar vibrations surrounding us in the room. I felt pure, raw, primal in every touch of our bodies. It felt as though electricity was surging through him, every part of him, and straight into my soul! I used that as fuel to gather up the energy pulsing within my body. My eyes were gazing up at the ceiling, but a different scene was playing in my mind. Once again, I could “feel the color white”.

My throat started to tighten as I felt an array of emotions welling up inside me. His chest was on top of mine, and our hearts started to beat as one drum. I felt each beat emit from our cores and saw an opalescent white orb pulsing and growing bigger with each intimate motion. The orb soon engulfed our bodies, and I felt cradled by pure energy. I could feel both of our souls charged with electricity, ready to be released, and there was a slight pause before we unleashed our power. We both exhaled in ecstasy we experienced a simultaneous mental/soul orgasm. A soulgasm as Mike called it. It was one of the most powerful and beautiful things I have ever felt.

Overcome with emotion, I immediately began to cry, and with Mike’s head still next to mine, I felt his body shaking as he also began to cry. The feeling of the mental orgasm lingered as we both held each other tight and sobbed into each other’s necks. “I finally understand”, I gasped between sobs, “I will NEVER doubt anything ever again”. Mike held onto me tighter in acknowledgment. The vibrations around the room began to fade. But the vibrations emitting from our cores shone bright.

My mind was racing. WHAT just happened?! I felt absolutely drained, yet also refreshingly recharged at the same time. I felt different. My soul inside of me felt different. I could feel Mike’s familiar vibrations entwined with mine. I attempted to slow my staggered breathing. Mike slowly lifted himself off of me and looked at me with warm, concerned eyes as he noticed that I had been crying. He seemed disoriented. Mike had no memory of crying at all. I don’t think he was “there” at that moment. His body was, but he had projected his soul like before. He inquired how I was feeling and if I was okay. Good Feeling** started to play on the speaker, and I couldn’t help but to smile and start crying again. “Oh, I’m doing just great,” I said between stifled laughs and sobs. He smiled and wrapped his arms around me again and gave me a tight, reassuring hug.

That moment was the single-most beautiful experience that I have ever had, and to share it with my soulmate in such an emotional way was incredible.

Some afterthoughts:
⁃ Our primal, animalistic behavior and mentality is at the very core of our sexual being. That is what sparked this event.
⁃ On LSD, I am able to feel what Mike feels on a daily basis as an empath. I have become familiar with his vibrations. I have also become aware of mine and am learning to control it at will.
⁃ My power core is at my heart chakra. I have become in tune with Mike’s heartbeat as well, and I have previously (on LSD) been able to manipulate our heartbeats to synchronize momentarily.
⁃ I have only witnessed Mike cry twice before in our 3+ year relationship. Feeling him mutually open and vulnerable in response to our combined power was the last piece of the puzzle to understand. Everything that he has been reassuring me of finally clicked into place.
⁃ 3/18/23 update: It is exactly one month later, and I still feel different but in a familiar way. I have been experiencing… new things. I am more subconsciously aware when it comes to the people who I am close to. With Mike, my brain seems to have linked to his. I now have fragments of his… abilities and I can “predict” what he’s going to say 😛

**These two songs are special to us have always made a moment picture-perfect.

I will add more to this section as things are experienced. I welcome thoughts, comments, discussions and others experiences.